Saturday, August 16, 2008

Hanging On

Since most of the posts are about Sarah I thought I would let everyone know what has been happening at home, at least on one day at home this week. Tuesday morning Betsy and Jacob were going to get a ride down to the hospital with my friend Donna for a visit with Ben and Sarah. I over slept so we had to really hurry since the departure from Donna's home was 7:15 and it was already 7. As we were rushing out the door John, Judah, and Michael came up from their room. I told them as quickly as I could where we were going and to go back to bed. As I was reached the Jeep Michael came outside crying. He was standing at the top of the stairs crying and saying he couldn't breathe. He was pale, shaky, and taking rapid shallow breaths, and then he threw up. (Anyone guess where this is going?) Not knowing what to do I abandoned Jacob in the Jeep, came back into the house, sent Betsy out to get Papa, and paged our beloved pediatrician Dr. B.. Obviously Betsy and Jacob missed their ride to Boston and boy was Jacob annoyed. Though he really did try to hold it in. Dr. B. suggested we get Michael a blanket and sit quietly with a book. It didn't take too long for Michael's breathing to return to normal and for his color to come back. Dr. B. showed up about and hour later and declared (bet you already know) that Michael had an anxiety attack. Which I already guessed. It was so heartbreaking to see an actual physical representation of the stress that Michael (and probably all of our children) is experiencing as a result of Sarah's illness. It's no ones fault. We are doing the best we can. This is just really hard on everyone. But after seeing Michael's anxiety I am going to try to do better. Smile more, cry less, play more games, take everyone for a hike, say "yes" to ice cream, tell a joke (maybe), and I was thinking we might get a WII since those are games several of us can play together, and last but not least I am going to restart keeping a list of the things I am personally thankful for. Here is today's 1. I am thankful our children really do love each other (even though they fight) which is evident in that they play together and read to each other and do their best to make Sarah happy when they see her. 2. I am thankful for all the wonderful people out there praying for Sarah and all of us. 3. I am thankful for the selfless people who gave up a month of weekends and some weekdays, to put in our new floors. 4. I am thankful Sarah actually has an ANC 5. And for all of the dinners that have been brought to us over the last few months. Cooking for all of us is a lot, effort and money wise. Thank you! It's a short list but it is a start.


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